Showing posts with label california. Show all posts
Showing posts with label california. Show all posts

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Fox Answers Our Questions

Q: WOULD U LIKE TO FUCK A GUY BECAUSE I THINK UR FUCKING HOT!!!!!!!!!!
Fox: well as "flattered" as i am by your compliment shrouded in complete crass testosterone filled bullshit, the term lesbian typically refers to the propensity to ONLY fuck girls. hence why i choose the word to accurately describe myself. so in summary....no fuckin way asshole, suck my balls.

Q: So what is it about wars that fascinates you so much?
Fox: im not really sure. maybe its senseless violence orchestrated by testosterone filled power trippin male morons. its....intriguing how we all suffer when the big men wanna throw their weight around. world war II is the most fascinatin to me. how many innocent people had to die for one crazed man's glory?

Q: what you doin?
Fox: cuttin my arms open and drinkin the blood

Q: would you make a snuff film?
Fox: probably
theres nothin i wont do

Q: if you were gonna do any of the girls from peanuts, who would you do?
Fox: dude lucy for sure
Q: why lucy?
Fox: bc she was a fuckin cunt

Q: where were you when all the teachers were handing out all those free self-esteem boosters for doing nothing?
Fox: in detention

Q: wtf's wrong with you? are you feeling ok?
Fox: well im wearin dirty pj pants and too small underwear

Q: what did ya do last night?
Fox: oh well
i mean nothin significant
i just
painted my toes
filed my cock

Q: you ready to leave tomorrow?
Fox: well
if by
are you totally unprepared and barely startin to even think about it
if thats what you mean
then sure

Q: should i smoke some pot?
Fox: oh wait
ill answer that
fuck
yes

and finally we get to the most important question of all... the question everyone wants to know and that fox HATES to answer...
Q: what did you do while you were home? (as in, back in the States)
Fox: sat in a chat room gettin high
and drunk
and killin myself
and gettin laid
i got wasted and danced up on chicks and fags
i got alcohol poisonin and projectile vomitted
i did too many drugs
i did a lot of coke when i first got back
i visited my family
got molested in the back of a rental car, the front of a truck, by 2 different guys, and a couch at some strangers house
ONE night i was sober
family game night
that was the night that a dred headed stranger drunk dialed me thus kickin off a debacherous affair that i broadcasted on the internet and wrote porn about
pretty much managin to taint the wholesomeness of family game night
i fuckin had a hershey kiss diet
i didnt even go to the movies
the only show i went to was that gay strip club
or the drag show
won a strip competition
went to the gym when i first got home
oh yea i did dishes with reckless abandon
stayed at a homeless shelter
cooked for it
yea
insertin garlic in my vagina, gettin molested in every car in LA, winnin strip contests, fuckin on cam, playin dance dance revolution on family game night, projectile vomitin, goin looney in the looney bin, masturbatin to erotica.
thats all i got

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Fox On Her Most Recent Trip Back To Cali

i was out runnin
and i passed my old middle and elementary school
and
i remembered what a lil hooligan i was
i was passin classrooms goin
that teacher hated me
that teacher hated me
that one gave me detention
and then i was passin houses
and thinkin
that persons parents hated me
those ones wouldnt allow me to hang out
i wasnt even allowed to PLAY with her

then he wanted to introduce himself
and he shook my hand
and so then i decided
i didnt like him
so i went on this whole tangent
about
thankin him
for puttin his cock in my hand
bc i know his drunk fat ass didnt wash his hands after he just manhandled himself in the bathroom
and now i have to have his fuckin shmegma on my hand
yea he decided i wasnt worth talkin to
and started to like venture inside
so i just yelled after him
nice to meet you....and your cock

i have puke on my shoe
im thinkin its my friends
from last night
im hopin its his
bc im not sure i would be down for anyone elses puke on my shoe

i was hangin around these two guys
who both are always very....attentive
and ive always sensed a competetiveness
so after one puked on my shoe
and i carried him across the street to pass out in the other ones truck
the other one tried to make out with me in puke shoes truck
im like you wait til your friend is passed out in your truck
to try and put the moves on me in his???
but he did tell me i was "absolutely gorgeous"

the best
was the synchronized puke session
were all at this bar
in which my sister is pumpin us full of alcohol
she gets my friend WASTED
like alcohol poisonin wasted
but we didnt realize he was so drunk
so hes like lets go across the street to this other bar he used towork at
an old drug dealer is there
so were like ok well meet you over there
and he drove
well it was when he was about 2 centimeters from havin a head on collision with a dodge dakota
that we discovered he was quite wasted
were walkin
but he wanted the truck for business
that kid had no business bein behind the wheel
so we get there and we meet these 2 guys
and ones wasted
the other isnt
they get in the truck
and
my friend is like
tryna deal drugs outta his truck he cant even see straight
so i go over and im like jesus
gimme the scale
so i do the whole transaction for him
for THEM
bc theyre both WASTED
then he falls outta the truck!
onto the pavement
so im like
omg
get up
wtf are you doin
so i have to pick his lanky ass up
put him back in the truck
i felt like i was babysittin an infant
then he keeps just tryna fall out the truck
so i stand in the doorway thinkin this is not good news
so hes layin on me
bc im blockin his efforts to fall outta the truck
so hes like droolin on my boob
then he just kinda half assed pushes me outta the way
pukes on me
and as hes pukin on me
i realize
that the drug dealin passenger
is pukin out his door too
synchronized puke