Fox Describes Her Dr. Phil Dream

i was this shrink
it was seriously like this
crazy movie
i was a shrink some woman hired to come and see about her son
her son was all
fucked up and had become catatonic
she had even taken him on the dr phil show
yea she said he had been seein dr phil and what not
and that he was just gettin worse
so she wanted to hire someone new and apparently she had heard about me
bc i was cool in my dream
so i came and i worked with this kid for a while
tryin to get him to speak again
so he was goin to both of us now
and i was gettin close with the mother
workin closely with both of them
we were becomin friends
and i was seein him more and more
bc i started makin some progress
and he was tellin me these freaky like puzzle piece sentences
that really didnt make much sense
and he would just repeat them
and we scanned his brain and there was nothin wrong with it
he was fine
so i would sit in my office and just ponder all he said
and i was obssessed with the case
especially bc his mom was now a good friend and i cared about him
so then i started investigating
and sometimes she would be with me
i kinda abandoned all my other cases
this one was too intriguing
so one day i went to go pick him up from his appt with dr phil. the mom had driven me
and i walked into the office and it turned out that dr phil was molesting him!
and thats why he was so fucked up
i saw him in the office with his pants dropped
and so i started freakin out
and i was screamin at dr phil
and he was freakin out
the kid was cryin and like poundin his head on the wall
i chased dr phil outside
and jumped on his back
and he was slammin me against the wall
and the mom came out
and i screamed that he was fuckin her son the whole time
so she started beatin on him
so were runnin around the parking lot of this place and im on his back and shes punchin him
and suddenly in no time news cameras were there
and then he was bangin me and bangin me against the wall
i was losing conciousness
so randomly i had this handful of pencils
and i stabbed him in the gut
i killed dr phil
on national tv
but saved the life of my new best friends son
and countless other children he had worked with
bc we uncovered his kiddy porn stash

Oh what a sad, sad day for fox fans...

I had TONS of conversations that I've had with fox over the past few months archived in my yahoo messenger. Somehow, everything prior to August 13 managed to get deleted. But I was able to salvage a few more Fox quotes to share. And I'm sure there will be many more to come. For now, I'll leave you with these gems:

i have big hearted italian tellin me he cried over me bc he liked me and he wanted to keep me around and now he knows hell never see me again in the most broken english ever and then i have yb askin to take me out to dinner and all i wanna do is wank to lesbian porn and watch french subtitled films

and after 10 days of screamin obnoxious girls
and no masturbation
goin down on yb was lookin pretty good
hell goin down on an italian guy for coke was lookin pretty good

you like to push that fat up and wear it like a hat while you gnaw on their meaty vaginas

im like that
obnoxious messy houseguest
that uses all your shit
makes a mess
is totally lazy
wont get off the computer
smokes in your house

i had
a friend
who swore by my BO
he would
require that i came over
after practice
every day i could
he would tempt me with bong hits
and free home cooked meals by his chef parents
just so he could smell my pits

you never know
what imma start doin
i could break into song
i might run in your sprinklers
i might steal your neighbors lawn gnome
i might tickle you til you pee your pants
or throw shit at you
or run outside in the rain
or knock over the neighborhood trash cans
or throw my arms around you
i might bite you
or throw up on you
or curl up and fall asleep on you
maybe ill tell you my theory on the dinosaurs and why we cant lick our own ears

i have little to no pride
and no grubby lil weaslin woman is gonna get it so she can manipulate and mold it to her greedy lil liking