Friday, June 13, 2008

Fox in Europe

well see the toilets here are a bit different
they have somethin called like an examination plateau
so your shit doesnt fall into the water
it falls on this...well its a plateau
in every sense of the word
then your shit has to plummet about a foot to hit water where it then goes down
well ya get used to it
yea ya get used to seein ya shit
and youre like
check it out man
make sure its healthy
analyze how big it is
if you need to dig somethin out
ya kid swallows your mercedes keys
you swallow your kid

fuck in dutch is fuck only it sounds dutch

why cant i think in english
its bc its dutch wine

so it only took me 3 years to totally and completely alienate the lesbian softball community in holland
i think i average about 2 years

i need to stop my whorish ways
settle down already
theyll be like look we have riots of cryin lesbians picketin to ban fox from the eu

Friday, March 07, 2008

Fox Quote of the Day

i was talkin about gettin dressed up then heart made fun of me for sayin uber bc "everyone" is sayin it these days which i didnt know and i told her that if you live less than 100 miles from germany youre allowed to say uber without it bein trendy

then suddenly she started talkin about sick childen in which i stopped payin attention and started contemplatin lines of coffeemate

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Fox Wishes You A Happy VD!

i love makin up new versions of vd
fuckin vaginal discharge day
venereal disease day
verifiably demented day
voluptuous dyke day

Fox's feelings on love:

i see love being even more fleeting than friendship
which makes it all that much more a crock of steaming donkey shit

if we throw around the word so carelessly, so casually, how am i supposed to know when to tell the difference between an orgy of deep and passionate love, and a turkey club on rye?
what if i feel more strongly about tomatoes than i do about 99.5 % of the population?
am i in LOVE with the tomato?
should i start havin sex with them
should i petition for marriage?
dress it up in a lil veil and bridal gown?
how do you know that my conception of love doesnt move past the way i feel about a tomato?
how do you know that i dont feel more strongly about a head of broccoli than i do about my friends

Monday, January 21, 2008

Fox Update

its not been a good day for fox
like that was the most miserable sick since the alcohol poisonin
like i felt good even i was havin fun
but yea then i guess
i stayed up all night
and it just got worse
then this headache
and then like it was at least 6-7 hours after i stopped drinkin
but yea i never slept and around 930 my friend woke up
and i was like omg my stomach its eatin itself and it was like the head stomach thing only a hundred times worse
so im like omg get me like a plain cake donut bc thats the only thing near to get food and i thought some sorta bread to settle it
and water
i didnt even eat half
and like yea it wasnt an alcohol sorta thing
bc i felt fine from that i didnt even drink all that much
and it wasnt til like 7 ours later
and when i puked it was all water and acid and tiny lil bit of donut
but like the lead up to the puke omg
i was dyin bc i have this headache thats beyond normal just eatin at my brain
and its makin me so dizzy and then my stomach is just churning and angry and clutchin and crampin and burpin
then i feel a lil better then like....half hour later churnin crampin pain i go to the bathroom and like burf
it was weird
and puke up weird like acid and mucous and there was just nothin in my stomach and i was gaggin and...burfin
it was like barf burps
i was like gagging and wretchin but just these weird burps came out
and acid and nothin
then i kinda felt better and i managed to finally get a lil tiny sleep at like 2pm
then my sister wakes me up that bitch i havent slept all day
then they get food and like
shes like ya know wanna see if you can hold anythin down and im leary bc my stomach is doin that empty churnin eatin excruciatingly hungry thing
i ate one fry
and some water
churnin lurchin death
plus the headache has peaked
and its also in my sinuses
im dyin i think
im just sittin in the bathroom....dyin
finally im burpin again and again and then i just puke
and then at some point some strange substance came out and i felt better and i passed out for another lil nap woke up and now im halfway livin
i still have a headache of death
but the soup and crackers appear to be stayin put
even if my head might like explode all over the place

Friday, December 07, 2007

The Complex, Intellectual, More Evolved Fox

i firmly adhere to the idea of evolution and i believe were the way we are for a lot of highly primitive reasons
its kinda funny
but im still more fuckin evolved
bc i see somethin greater than flingin my shit at my enemies bc they dont fit in with my commanality of socially constructed protection

i just got into a lengthy discussion about assasinatin bush with nr
bc we were talkin about how he was gonna go visit south america
and columbians were protesting by burnin flags in the street
and i was talkin about how it was awesome that he was goin to a country where they actually have the balls to assassinate him
bc we just dont assassinate presidents like we used to

i mean why is what i do anymore improper than what he does or she does or they say or act or fuckin live their life
but the point is i woulda said fuck society and the horse you rode in on i dont respect you anyway eat me
i wanna wear all black and listen to creepy music and make out with chicks
but i accept you and your fuckin norm i say eat shit about you in my spare time but i respect what you do how you wanna be and although i consider you to be a fuckin freak i treat you like youre just another human being stuck with what you got tryin to make the best of it

i want a woman who likes me as me as confused as retarded as just fuckin demented whether i feel like lookin girly or boyly or tranny who rolls with my gender waves who doesnt even want the dynamic and who doesnt care if im a prick
one who likes a girl who looks mostly like a girl or sometimes like a lil punk boy but who isnt really girly per se in every day dress just her just punk just me but who might wear make up and kick your fuckin ass at the same time
i need someone whos lookin for a tranny
i dont need anyone

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Fox's Charmin Hillbilly Wit

i really wish i was this just like.....i mean im not sayin im anythin to fuckin look at....but i wish i was just a slack jawed yokel with no fuckin teeth who stinks of stale sweat and chronic halitosis with like repugnent scabs and ....nobody wanted to touch me
and whoever was around me it was strictly based on my charmin hillbilly wit

id love if my parents came in to tell me it was time to go and im strippin on a webcam
then i could just say oh its ok dad
im just practicin for my job

why cant you allow me to live in the warped fantasies of my imagination
that a ghost was emailing me
now im leavin
to lick the wounds of another dream shattered

i like that i have to pay for ketchup at mcdonalds, and pay for public restrooms. i like traffic jams, the color orange, windmills that dont do anythin, an abundance of water, the smell of cow shit, cheap people and teasing women

yesterday we were talkin about makin a porn candy line
havin a factory like willy wonka
and the oompa loompas wear condoms on their heads and nipple tassels
and bee bop around makin music with their anal beads clackin on the floor

i dont know quite who
is gonna shake out that pillow to change those sheets
and out is gonna fly a purple vibe
and maybe its gonna fly across the room
break a window
knock a mexican unconscious

i mean i was immediately like
no fuckin way
which led to large black man humpin ice spinnin drunken debatin twitchin teary kitchen table humpin bizarre statment flingin madness
which reinforced my decision entirely

ok whoopi is attackin my slipper
she pulled it off my foot and is now beatin the shit outta it that was very brave of her....savin me from such a deadly slipper

fox: so cut [the pills] in half
pooge: can't
pooge: they're extended release
fox: well you better learn how to swallow it then
fox: just think of it as takin a big black cock in your mouth
fox: only with water

i dont think they make a bull dyke aftershave line
an aftershave for the sensitive skin of a womans beard

oh ass to mouth virgins is on

im not a boy, i have no y chromosome and my name feels the same

devil_is_papi_26: we're crazy
devil_is_papi_26: all of us
*{Pre_PubeScent KuNg_Fu F(0)X}*: hey speak for yourself. i have my psychiatric ward discharge hung on my fridge :D

Friday, September 07, 2007

Fox Lessons in Congeniality

1st degree

where i live
people need to stay outta my house
bc its not my house
and only people who bring drugs were ever allowed to come to my house

ok she needs to go home now though
see when you fuck at my pad
you go home

shove your pleasant conversation up your rectum, lubeless and with splinters

sit up straight
look mature
laugh haughtily
hold your beverage right
order somethin refined
now im like "gimme a beer!!!" and then i chug it, droolin and sloshin right there while i stand at the bar

take your compliments and forcibly insert them into your anus

i dont care about 15 minutes
20 minutes an hour
i care about havin to get up off the chair go pick up the phone and WASTE 5 minutes of my life listenin to you tell me youre gonna be home when i thought you would be anyway

Erotic Fox

whats her face
she wanted to
do my fantasy
lines off
body parts
body parts
find a spot
girly body line a thon
we proceeded
i have this
muscle thing
that forms a perfect line
a quality line of coke
then theres
the spine
i have
no tits
so a good amount of chest
to use as a cuttin board

i told her i loved to incorporate food with sex
she asked me if i meant like human sundaes or feeding each other fruit baskets.
i told her i mean shoving strong smelling vegetables into your pussy and letting me eat you
i like to feel like im eating italian food if im gonna go down on an italian girl i whispered in her ear before i dove in to her 3 course meal
the italian tournament was a good idea after all
i wasnt in shape to beat macerata
but i was in good enough shape to beat the shit outta fabiolas pussy until she passed out in a puddle of her own juices

i kinda like when cute girls struggle to find the right words bc theyre foreign
but then sometimes you get your fill of that and you long for the fluid well spoken english of a native speaker
particularly one who speaks it well
and you find the use of certain english words makin you hot in the pants
someone says somethin inane like...hypothetically speaking
and you fuckin moisten your panties
on the spot
and then they say id like to reiterate and your nipples perk up in attention, beggin to be placed in the place where those
beautiful beautiful words are spilling forth from
or if its online your clit engorges with the idea of it being diddled by the nimble fingers which so fluidly flow with succulent
english prose
ok sorry i got a lil...carried away

ive decided that watching mass amounts of lesbian porn and not allowing myself to masturbate is crucial for my porn writing career

it had the most kick ass clitoral stimulator
for the person wearin it
i fuckin loved that thing
that was a good one
bc it was like
you were projected into this land
where you HAD a cock
bc every thrust
every move
every penetration or hip undulation on her part your part the beds part the winds part sent a delicious sensation vibration temptation to your clit

Fox On Love*

love. love is such a...tossed carelessly around word that i somewhat loathe. its so nonchalant now like oh hey mailman, i love you! you deliver my mail on time with courtesy and i just love you! to me its...gotta be that fuckin important to say it. it creeps me out in general

oh the word the word the word. loooove. i cant even say it like....normally. it always comes out of my mouth in this sarcastic way. it really does seem almost fuckin commercial now. like its this proscribed word we just...say to whoever. but maybe you dont, maybe i have just earned status as your good friend and i have joined the fuckin book of the month club and i am now on your mailing list for sporadic editions of ""i love you" sent to my house.
and if you say i love you to everyone (not everyone per se) then how do you differentiate between them and someone youre...what did you call it...deep in love with? honestly i dont know...bc when you say you hate people, theres no need to differentiate.
i cant even say it to my sister when she says it to me without...gettin this weird nervous feeling like im lying or something or like, she is just sayin it bc shes supposed to, or i dont know. ugh, feeeeelings. they make me so uncomfortable lol.

(*Fox On Love -- not to be confused with Fox in Love which, as a concept, doesn't exist)

Fox Poetry

i wonder what you look like
when youre not wearing your outfit of lies
i bet youre strangely beautiful under the shit youre covered in
how do you look me straight in the face
seeing very well my nostrils twitching
my look of disgust at your repugnant odor
knowing for sure that i can smell
your suit of bullshit
change your clothes
then maybe we can converse like normal human beings
instead of two people shrouded in your embellishments
covered in the stench of your rotten perspectives
i smell like shit just being in your presence
but even worse is....i feel like shit too
just leave me alone so i cant smell you
all decked out in your bullshit suit

I teeter barefoot on this cold ledge
I hold my charms in my hand
Just to know that im still here
I haven’t left this ledge

All of the lights are out
The distance below as uncertain
As the vast silence in my head
Its you and me now

All alone in my head
Just me and you
Alone with my thoughts
I haven’t left yet

My generation, self absorbed as the day is long
Every conviction they have of confidence is wrong
They stood in line for a voucher of deception
Preparing for that lifetime journey of misconception

They came to the station of deluded fantasies
To board the train of narcissistic tendencies
Wallowing in their own selfish ways
Basked in the artificial warmth of fabrications rays

Paradise at the horizon in the form of embellished bliss
Ill be the first to buy a one way ticket to a concoction like this
They piled in heaps on that train to delusion land
But I was stuck on the platform with my dick in my hand